Vogon Letter!!!!!

To Gag Halfrunt

Since there is no way to contact you over the long distance sub-ether line or anyway else I am sending you this telephragma message to tell you that I have just wiped out half my of my crew. Of course you would remind me that this is normal behavior for a psychiatrist like me. You always do. Though they seemed delighted of my poetry it seemed time for them to go. This is the reason why I am contacting you. You are committed listen to me! As usual If your response will not be here in 0.11 seconds there will be 1000 slaughterers sent to execute you. A slow painful death is the best, I think!

Oh gruntlegrew, oh bublebrew
Thy gumblebubble is juggblewooblle too me
But as wobbleman goes jobtiput
Motfubtipub son wobtipub
If that will not occur
Motipolifob should hear
That ahalotifob, motirolisub, contifulioub and rosioliub
will kontikulihier
And blubfibub will be cut of
Till filliub will contibub and chonifub will bontifob
And sooonifolliboribuuuCut open, cut open, cut open youuuuuu
And eat and take contilifuuu
Till you are shredded so so so bad
Micemeat are you and shorwly dead

So dispensable creature. I present you a simple choice. I sent my friends to execute you. Of course slowly and horribly as described above. There is only one way To prevent this. Think for once. Think carefully. You are holding your lives in your hands. Either you will be chopped down, which is another method I can present you. As presented in my poem the slaughterers will chop your head of first and then eat your toes. Toe by toe. All the tiniest parts will be sent to me and will be an inspiration for my next poem.

So either die by slaughter or execution. Or … tell me how good my poem was…